Legend in my own lunchbox

Whilst travelling the North Coast of Jamaica, it’s easy to kid yourself into thinking that you are some sort of a celebrity.

For example, our first stop was Blue Lagoon, where fourteen-year-old nymphet Brooke Shields frolicked around in the nude in the movie of the same name and where Tom Cruise showed us his drink mixing aerial stunts in “Cocktail”. Although I wasn’t about to attempt an impersonation of either of those scenes, it was difficult not to feel like a movie star as we cruised around the set on a bamboo raft and took a dip in the lagoon itself.

After a quick stop at Boston Bay (where jerk meat originated and where you can see some surfing Rastas)…
…we headed to the outskirts of the (very touristy) resort town of Ocho Rios to big brother Roger’s place, Pearly Beach. Oh. My. Gosh. Set on its own private beach (complete with bonfire so you can spend the whole night sipping Red Stripe and watching the crashing waves if you’re up for it), and surrounded by bush, this beach “shack” is so secluded even the paparazzi would have difficulty getting a shot of it (which must be why – between you, me and the lamppost – we’ve been told that a certain very-skinny-supermodel-who-shall-remain-nameless chose to rent this place as her Jamaican hideaway, and why I’ve been seen scouring the place for a stray hair to sell on Ebay). So, please allow me to indulge in 48 hours of feeling like a movie star, before I am forced to come crashing back to the reality of working in a law firm where even my supervising partner will no doubt have difficulty remembering my name. Sigh.

And so, the time has come for us to depart Jamaica (until the pull of sun, sea and family bring us back once again), but before we go I thought I’d leave you with an excerpt from my final lesson – how to climb a waterfall. The wide and magnificent Dunn’s River Falls is 600ft high and the water cascades over the rocks so fast (especially with 2 months of rainfall behind it) the climb is both scary and exhilarating. Fortunately I had Rory, who has climbed it many time before, to show me how it’s done.


P.S. I realise that in our last few posts the colossal Jamaican potholes and Red Stripe beer have both been getting a few mentions – here’s a snapshot of each: